Do any of you think you suffer from PTSD?

Do any of you think you are living with someone who has PTSD?

Now, that’s the key to the entire syndrome.  How do I know If I am suffering from PTSD?

How does my partner know if I am suffering from PTSD?

PTSD were words I heard but never related to because my husband was in the Navy.  Yes, the Navy of all things!  How the heck can I ever think that he would have PTSD because he didn’t have “boots on the ground”!

It took me 7 years and writing this book to realize he had PTSD.  He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and died 3 years later. During that time, I kept wondering why he acted the way he did.  Of course, it was me — I was the one that was causing everything to happen.

I remember coming home from work and I knew he had been drinking, but he would deny it.  It took me a long time to catch him in the act and confront him. Alcohol abuse was one of the behaviors that got my attention.  Another sign I just passed off as being depressed was the fact that nothing made him happy. Again, I blamed myself for “not making him happy”.

Now I don’t pride myself as “Betty Homemaker”, but I can boil water, make a decent meal and keep the house clean.  Boy did I try to do better!  Again, I blamed myself for being inadequate.  Have you blamed yourself for being inadequate?  I know that feeling.

I didn’t connect the dots until I was writing this book.  All of sudden, it dawned on me that all his actions, alcohol abuse, anxiety attacks, indifference, and depression were related to PTSD and not me! The way I figured out what it took me by surprise.  I have a quick little quiz in the back of the book that asks questions regarding PTSD.  WOW!  It was as if a light went off in my head.  He had most of the symptoms!

Boy did I feel stupid! When I was writing the episodes on PTSD, it was if someone saw what I was living through. I could relate.

I remember when he had his first anxiety attack.  He just couldn’t do a job he had to do.  I thought something was really the matter and didn’t know what to do. He had an intolerance for crowds and only wanted to be with me or alone.  That’s seemed strange that he wanted to be with me when I couldn’t do anything right.

I remember telling him that “I was put on this earth to show him what unconditional love was”. It was very hard to love someone who didn’t even like himself.

Do you feel the same way?

I’d like to hear from you so we can get PTSD out in the open. The above aren’t the only symptoms, there are many more.

Please share with me your experiences and I’ll continue to do the same.

Joanne

Drop me an Email

 

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