My hands are sweating.  I’m as jittery as a lion ready to strike yet I can’t help it! My heart is beating fast, and I can’t slow it down. What is happening to me? I normally feel fine.  Blood pressure, good; heartbeat, good; cholesterol, okay.

This is different. I can’t control what’s happening to me.

Oh no, it’s a Doctor’s appointment!!

My appointment was forty-five minutes ago yet here I sit.  My blood pressure must be through the roof because I’m so nervous. I heard others describe this feeling as “white coat anxiety”.   I still don’t understand why they call it “white coat anxiety”.  Okay, I get it.  The Doctor wears a white coat over his/her street clothes. Is that white coat some type of transmitter that hypnotizes you? Then why am I so darn nervous when I see that “white coat”?

The person sitting next to me is at least six feet from me.  That’s good because now we are practicing social distancing. All these new words from COVID-19, or the coronavirus which is all now a pandemic. We are taught how to wash our hands correctly, shelter in place, the correct way to cough and that it’s darn difficult to find toilet paper!

Maybe if I could just get in to see the Doctor as soon as I arrived, that would help?  Maybe if at least I could see the Doctor when it was my scheduled appointment time.  Maybe just maybe it would help.

Why can’t the Doctor be on time?  I wanted to come here today to find out what my tests revealed, but now, all I want to do is to go home.  I don’t want to know the results of all those tests. The phlebotomist must have taken a gallon of my blood! The other tests didn’t feel good either.

So many thoughts go through my head. It can’t be good news, or the Doctor would have taken me in his office early. That means it must be bad news. I just know I’m going to die or maybe I have an incurable illness – yes, that’s what he’s going to tell me.  Wait, maybe I have the Coronavirus!  Was I in contact with anyone who was sick? I can’t stand the drama and wish there was a better system. I remember how he looked at me when he took in the last patient.  He knows, I know he knows that things are not good.

The waiting room starts to fill up.  When I arrived at 8:30 a.m. the room was empty. Now patients arrive for their appointment.  Do they realize they will have to wait at least forty-five minutes? They don’t look nervous. How can they sit there and play games on their I-phones when there is so much as stake?  Don’t they realize that the Doctor may tell them something they don’t want to hear?

Maybe if I talked about Politics now, that would make the time go by faster. Do I dare open my mouth and say something? Better leave that subject alone for now.

Was that my name they just called?  The Doctor motions for me to enter his office. He looks at me and says, “Well, all your tests came back normal. It looks like your good for another six months.”

“I’m okay, I’m okay! I can’t believe it. All that worry and he tells me “I’m OKAY!”

“Doc, what’s really the matter with me? I can take bad news. You can tell me, Doc”!

The Doctor repeats himself, “There’s nothing the matter with you.”

“That’s it – I’m good for another six months?” I can go home and relax for a few days now that the Doctor’s appointment is over. A glass of chilled Chardonnay sounds great.  That’s the way to end a Doctor’s appointment!

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